X.IV
Mendon Ponds Fish Hatchery:
I didn’t expect to be in NY this long. I thought at best I would come home, gain some perspective on a long, exhausting year and then zip on back to my Dixie home. I’m so used to things working out, so used to wading through the crap and doing the work and in time it all fleshes out into something great. I didn’t love Atlanta the first year I was there but I stuck it out and it became a better home then I could have hoped for.
But this, this is starting to ware me down. I know that my insolence and bad attitude about the current state of affairs is unfair, and I should be grateful to be spending time with my family. New York is beautiful in the fall and it’s always been my favorite time of year. What has been so obvious lately is the redundancy of my habits. As soon as the leaves started falling something in me marched my feet into a YMCA and started a routine of swimming drills four days a week. As soon as the roads and ground started to get a colorful sheen from the castaways of summer I knew it was time to search the attic for my corduroys and paint my nails copper and red. It was just too easy, to find the coco and tea kettle. To know that when the dryer buzzes jumping for warm fresh socks will be the best part of your day. This is what’s wearing me down, finding the parts that fit. The things that are so easy in contrast with everything I want going forward. For now I can only hope that what I’m doing is the right thing and that coming here will turn out to have been the right decision.
=va=